Wednesday, September 1, 2010

It puts the lube on the chain, or it gets the hose again.

Spa:Cx has managed to claw their way out of Buffalo Bill's basement to find that the fall season is almost upon us. Fall, a time for shorter days, fog coming in on Siberian Tiger feet commutes, and those insufferable leaf-peepers. And cyclocross.

Start looking for your CX bike. It’s probably where you threw it last December while swearing off the sport and reaching for the beers. And it’s not clean; you thought you’d get to it the next weekend but ended up raking the entire yard that had been ignored all season. And then you forgot. Looking like one of those Greek amphorae pulled from the ocean floor, the time for restoration is now.

To clean the nastier yark and spooge (yark = dried spooge) off the bike, I often to mount the bikes on the roof rack and go to the local touch-less car wash. As your HR directors will tell you in the lunch seminars, there are good touches and bad touches. For $7, I am not confident that my bike will be getting a good touch, especially from a giant wooly bear caterpillar of nylon bristles spinning at 8000rpm.

So I stick with the car wash type that does the younger brother I’m-not-touching-you thing by spinning around inches from your vehicle. Afterward, you might want to check the greasy bits and the painty bits as they might have been removed. But you’ll be yark-free.

Be excellent to each of your bikes, especially you chain. It makes you go. Find your MTB shoes and find your anaerobic threshold because its time to emerge from your road riding chrysalis and start racing on the dirt.

Look for next Wednesday's 9/8 blog, it'll piss you off.

1 comment:

studioe said...

Sprinkle in a few punchy graphics, and you'll be up there with bikesnob. Funny shit.